The Magic Touch
by Bride of Spock
Summary: Bernadette is pushed over the edge by Howard and when she finally snaps, will her love for Howard remain?
1. Walk of Shame

**A/N: This idea stemmed from Technical Difficulties, my Shenny fic, but I couldn't find a place to fit it in so I decided to start another fanfic! Hope you like, it's my first Bernadette/Howard. Bernadette's my favourite character and I thought I'd expand her character a little. Contains spoilers from probably all seasons at some point, I'm writing this as the impression I got from the episodes I've seen. I'd love to get more ideas in reviews. If this chapter gets enough positive feedback I'll put up the second. Enjoy!**

Howie was brushing his teeth when I got up. He leaned in for a kiss, but I pushed him away, giggling. "Oh Howie," I said affectionately, smiling. I started getting changed, hoping to escape Mrs Wolowitz. No such luck. She was up. Hell, did I know it.

"HOWARD! WHAT D'YA WANT FOR BREAKFAST!?" I winced. Howard yelled back "PANCAKES MA!" I hopped around the room, pulling my socks on. Now I had to do the walk of shame past Howie's mother. The walk of shame, I thought, scoffing to myself. We're engaged! I can do the walk of shame whenever I feel like it!

My can-do attitude faded the minute I stepped into the kitchen and faced Howie's mother. "Good morning Mrs Wolowitz," I said meekly. She said nothing (a shocker in itself). I shuffled from the kitchen and went to my car.

I pulled up at the petrol station just as my fuel meter clicked to 'Empty'. "Thank you, Amy," I said irritably. She'd made me drive her all around town yesterday. I filled up the tank. I went in to pay the twenty dollars or so. I wasn't fussed about the price. My new job pays a butt load!

It was Sunday, 9am. Not a normal time to get up, Penny would say. This time of day is unknown to her. Sheldon would argue about the scientifically proven effective cycles of REM sleep and... I need to get out more.

I got a phone call from Leonard as I entered my house. "Hey Bernadette!" Leonard said cheerfully. "I'm not sure if you're into paintballing, but I thought I'd invite you along anyway! We're leaving in about ten minutes!" "That's so considerate Leonard, thank you," I said sincerely. "I'd love to. I'll get changed, I'll be at yours in about five minutes."

I changed into soft trousers and a colourful shirt that I picked at random. I put my hair into a bun almost automatically. As I climbed into my car, I wondered why Howie didn't invite me. Perhaps I was interrupting a boys day out?

However, when I got there, everyone in our small social circle was there. Penny, Amy, Sheldon, Raj, Leonard, and Howie. Had Howie planned to exclude me? I wondered, biting my lip.

He seemed to be arguing with Leonard as I approached him. "Howie!" His grumpy expression was traded for a bright smile. "Hey Bernie! Oh, by the way, you can go back home, I know you wouldn't like paintballing." I scowled, but wiped it off my face immediately.

Leonard looked awkward, and began sidling away from us, muttering about talking to Penny. "I love paintballing," I said in a hurt voice. "You never asked me about it. It was very thoughtful of Leonard to invite me." Howard shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

"Bernie, Bernie - it's sweet you're trying to fit in with the group, but I couldn't imagine little you with a gun." I bristled with anger. Little. I'll give him little. "It's a bloody good thing I don't have one, because if I did it'd be pointing at your throat!" I clapped my hands over my mouth, shocked at myself. I didn't curse. I also didn't yell, but the way everyone was looking at me I guess I'd been pretty loud. The look on Howard's face was almost priceless. Almost.

"Don't make decisions for me, Howie! You may think you know everything about me, but you don't! You don't know me at all!" My voice broke and I let out a sob as I ran from the room. I jumped straight in my car and pulled away, my car protesting amidst loud screeches.

My cell phone rang incessantly. I turned it off. The home phone buzzed every few minutes. I unplugged it. I felt like curling up on my bed, with all my stuffed bears, and crying. So you know what? I did.

I knew I was being a little unreasonable, but it wasn't just the paintballing. Little things had been sniping at me all week. Howie blowing off our dinner date for Halo night. Howie spending money from our joint account (on some stupid Ka'a card packs and merchandise!) without consulting me. Howie lying to me about being too busy to hang out when he really went to the comic book store. Is he really the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?


	2. Take a Hint, Howard!

My tears had long subsided, leaving me deep in thought. Of course I still want to marry him - we just need more time to completely get to know each other. There would need to be no secrets, no lies. He didn't have to be Prince Charming. All I wanted was a man who I loved, who loved me, and we were all that mattered.

I got changed into my pyjamas and decided to curl up on the sofa with some Ben&Jerry's ice cream to watch Shrek. My all-time favourite movie. A drastic change from most 'happily ever afters'. A not perfect man and a not perfect woman fell in love and lived happily ever after, against all odds.

I ended up watching all the Shrek movies, as I had a whole day to kill. At around nine o clock, I heard something slide through the letterbox. I turned off the movie and plodded to the door, my slippers muffling every step. There were a couple of cards there. I picked up the one on top. 'Bernadette, This is from the guys, minus Howard. Hope you feel better, we're sure he'll come around.' There were a couple of personal scribbles under that.

'Hope you feel better about this soon, in the meantime I'll be glad to talk anytime. -Leonard'

'I can't talk to you, but I wouldn't mind listening. Feel better =) -Raj'

Sheldon had just signed his name. Their gesture of kindness had made me feel better. They were good friends. The second card was adorned with red roses looped around the word 'Sorry' in fancy writing. "Ooh, look at you Howie, splashing out on a $3 card," I murmured. Howard had forgotten to remove the price. I rolled my eyes and opened up the card. 'Dearest Bernie, I am so so sorry. Please answer my texts or calls! Lots of love, Howie Xxxxxxx' Then I felt emotionally and physically exhausted; it had been a long day.

I plugged the phone back in (27 missed calls) and turned my phone on (14 texts) before turning in, setting my alarm for work tomorrow. When I got home, I felt drained. Work sucked a lot of energy out of me. It wasn't so much the work, it was the people.

My boss, nagging at me about that report I'd handed in and she'd lost. Of course, blame the employee for your mistake. How fair, well played boss. (THAT'S SARCASM SHELDON.)

The interns, flapping around like pigeons with coffees and crisp white shirts. My colleagues, forcing yeast samples on me, chattering incessantly about who knows what. Sometimes my head felt ready to explode.

I flopped on the sofa and began scrolling through my texts. Fourteen, ugh. Take a hint, Howard! One was from Penny.

'Hey gurl! Hope u doing ok. Always here to chat if u need me xx' I smiled tightly. Penny was a good friend as well.

The rest, predictably, were from Howard. I've never seen so many variations of an apology. That's why I didn't hesitate deleting every text. Howie needs to stop throwing apologies around like they mean nothing. I'm not going to forgive him (for anything) until his apologies are real. I worked steadily all week, glad I wasn't working at Caltech anymore. It made avoiding Howie so much easier. When Friday arrived, I was so ready for the weekend. I took my bag upstairs (containing a task evaluation due Monday, BORING) and sat down on my bed.


	3. Girls Night

I looked up as my phone buzzed twice. One from Penny, one from Amy. I read Amy's one first. 'Hello Bernadette. As you are upset, it would be customary to offer you a hot beverage, however Penny says that is boring and we should drink wine instead. I am inviting you on both mine and Penny's behalf to a girls night, tonight at 7pm at Penny's apartment. Please bring nightclothes and toiletries as necessary. Kiss hug kiss.' Penny's message merely said 'Amy means xox'.

Well, anything to put off that report. It was 5pm; I had two hours. I decided to tidy my bathroom, and in doing so found all my toiletries, loads of nail varnish and tons of makeup.

I wrote the introductory paragraph for my report and saved it on my computer, then metaphorically tossed it aside. It was 6:30pm, and I was bored, with half an hour to go.

There was a knock at the door. I regarded the door suspiciously for a moment, then opened the door. A dozen red roses sat on the doorstep. Ten dollars, how impressive, Howard. Bet that came from our joint account.

I checked the bank upon returning inside and, lo and behold, ten dollars had gone missing. How lovely. My extra tenner that I'd put in for my Saturday night takeaway - guess that couldn't happen now. Damn. I was really looking forward to my Chinese.

By the time I'd gathered everything I needed and won a mental argument, it was time to leave for Penny's. When I knocked, Amy greeted me. "Where's Penny?" I asked, glancing round the apartment. "She has already ingested too much alcohol, but she sends her regards," Amy replies dryly. I notice that Penny's bedroom door is shut. "I see."

I put the DVD into the drive, forwarded it to the movie, and paused it. "We'll wait 'til Penny gets up," I say cheerily. All I really want to do is wake Penny up and force her to amuse Amy. Having a fun time with Amy is pretty difficult unless you're Penny.

Penny came out a few minutes later. "Some aspirin and I'll be fine," she mumbled, rooting through the cupboards for the tablets. Amy settled herself on one end of the sofa, I made myself comfy on the other. Penny took her aspirin and plopped down between us.

An hour and a half later, the credits rolled in. "Now we will paint each other's nails, snack, and exchange gossip!" Amy announced excitedly. I fumbled with the remote and finally managed to turn the TV off. Penny fetched some nail varnish for herself and Amy, while I opened my bag and picked out the pretty blue.

Penny had painted my nails, and now she sat eating popcorn as Amy painted hers. I blew on my nails gently, willing the coating to stay perfect. It dried perfectly, and I felt rather smug. Amy finished off Penny's nails, and clapped her hands. "Now for the gossip," she said happily. Penny raised her hand like a schoolgirl. "Ooh, pick me!"

Amy's eyes gleamed. "Yes, Bestie?"

"I got back together with Leonard last night!"

"That's great, Penny!" I said, smiling at her. Amy frowned at me.

"Bernadette, as Penny's bestie, I must be the first to congratulate Penny. Please refrain from doing so in the future."

"Um, I'm sorry?" I said cautiously. One must tread carefully when lurking near dangerous waters. "Thank you, Bernadette," Amy said graciously. Ugh. That woman got on my nerves...oh, haha, she was a neurosurgeon...I'm too easily amused.

"What about you, Bernadette?" Amy asked. She was bursting to tell us something - the wild, excited look in her eyes gave it away. "Nothing really," I lied. Must keep straight face, remember to breathe regularly... I managed to lie and get away with it.

Amy was too distracted, but I bet Penny would have noticed something was wrong, if she'd been in her right mind. "What about you, Amy?"

"Me and Sheldon are in an official relationship!" Amy burst out, a smug smile on her face. I could tell that Penny wanted to laugh; I heard a scoffing sound, which was quickly smothered. "Wow," was all Penny could choke out between her fits of laughter/violent coughing. She quickly stood up and got a glass of water.

"Bernadette," Penny said, pointing at me. "What happened with Wolowitz the other day? You seemed pretty enraged." I blushed, remembering my outburst in Apartment 4A. "It was nothing really," I said hurriedly. Amy shook her head.

"I have no eidetic memory, unlike Sheldon's," she swooned. "But I seem to recall you screaming at the top of your lungs 'Don't make decisions for me! You don't know me at all!'"

"No, I didn't!" I exclaimed hotly.

"Down, girl," Penny said, cackling.

I felt the same kind of impatience I felt with children creeping up inside me. "Can we please move off this topic?" I asked sweetly. Amy began to babble about Sheldon, and I tuned out. There was a knock at the door. Several, actually. Someone's desperate.

Penny got up and flung the door open. "What do ya want, Wolowitz?" she slurred. "Actually, I was hoping to talk to Bernadette...is she here?" I froze. Penny looked at me with questioning eyes. "I'm not here," I mouthed.

"I dunno where she is, but you better be mighty sorry when ya see her," Penny said. I could imagine the look on Howard's face. It was a funny one. "Okay then...urm, if you see her, tell her I'm very sorry and I want to see her soon." Any chose this moment to address me loudly. "But Bernadette, you are here! Why don't you want to see Howard?" Howard timidly pushed the door open and saw me. "Bernie?"


	4. Gossip and Resolutions

**A/N: Guys, I made a boo-boo last chapter. Amy's not a neurosurgeon, she's a neurobiologist. My bad. Sorry!**

Oh no. Not Howard. Not now. Please tell me this is a nightmare. Please please please please please please please...

"Bernie?" Howard said again, a little louder. "I want to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you, Howard," I said.

"Awh, come on, Bernie! It was one little thing!" Howard exclaims. Bad move Howard. Bad, bad move.

"What about the money from our joint account? The money you spent on stupid card merchandise! You even bought me ten dollar flowers! Ten dollars that I earned for myself! Not for you to suck up to me with!" I jabbed my finger in his chest accusingly as I made my little speech.

"That is unacceptable Howard. As a couple shortly to become man and wife, it is a serious step to share your money in a joint account. You have betrayed Bernadette's trust by spending it without telling her," Amy said. I felt a rush of gratitude towards my friend.

"Bernie, I made a simple mistake, I just forgot, alright? We don't need to argue over this."

"What about the time you blew off dinner with me 'for work' when you really were at the comic book store?" I asked. Howard froze, then tried to relax his face into a smile.

"What are you talking about, Bernie?" he said.

"Oh, so if I went over and asked Sheldon about it he'd tell me what exactly?"

Howard sighed. "Look, Bernie, I - "

"Save it," I snapped, slamming the door.

"Woahhh!" Penny exclaimed.

"Sorry," I said, lacing my fingers together.

"It's cool, Bernadette. Now we have another gossip subject!" Amy said excitedly.

Oh, brother.

They spent the remainder of the evening questioning me about my failing relationship with Howard.

"You can't run forever, Bernadette. At some point you will have to confront your feelings and talk about the issue," Amy advised. Most useful piece of advice I'd gotten this evening. Why couldn't she have opened with that?

"What do you think I should do, Penny?" I asked. "Penny?" Penny was passed out and seemingly had been for a while. I had noticed Amy had been doing a lot of the talking.

In the end, when conversation had dwindled to a slow halt, I had gotten drunk off my ass. It was a relief, really. Penny was trying to make me have fun, and most of her thoughts of 'fun' involved alcohol. Truthfully, I _was_ having fun. A lot, if my giggles were anything to go by.

"Beddy-bye for Berniepie!" sang Amy.

"But _Ames_," I moaned, dragging on the single syllable. "I don't wanna go to bed!"

"You will if you want to grow up big and strong! You'll move on from being the weakest wildebeast to being a - a giraffe!" Amy cried out, giggling raucously. We ended up curling up together on the sofa and passing out.

* * *

I had the biggest hangover _ever_. Penny's used to hers, and it only takes a bit for Amy to get drunk, but I get hangovers from _hell_. I sat down with my laptop, intent on finishing my report. Skype, due to my settings, signed in automatically, and almost immediately a message from Howard popped up.

_Hey Bernie. Can we talk? :)_

_I suppose so. Call?_

_Sure._

The laptop buzzed, and my screaming brain protested slightly at the noise. I accepted. Howard's face filled the screen, full of guilt and regret and sadness. "I'm so sorry, Bernie. I'll never do it again, I promise. I'm so sorry, I just - "

"Stop babbling," I said, smiling a little. "I forgive you, okay? But you owe me one night out for dinner and a Chinese."

"It can be arranged, my dear." Howard smiled. "Never argue again, okay? I can't live without you."

"Awh, Howie."

"It's true! You were on my mind the whole time we were apart."

"Come over to mine? I missed you more than I can say."

"On my way right now." His smile widened. "Gotta love Skype for iPhones."

We said goodbye, as he needed to drive. My doorbell rang. The noise echoed in my head, but distantly. I was too happy. I opened the door and flung myself into Howard's arms, where I belong.

**A/N: Sorry if you thought the ending was rushed, but that's where it ended, for me :) My very first multi-chapter story finished! Pride! Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!**


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